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Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Writing Childhood Memories for someone else. Or, everyone has a story to tell.

I recently completed a three year project that had me digging into the childhood memories of a friend. I'm writing this post because I think others should do this for loved ones, friends, even strangers. Strangers, you ask. Yes. Work through your locale elder care services, VFW, American Legion, or retirement community, and they can point you to those in their care who have stories to tell and are willing, even wanting to tell them, but no one to listen.

For instance, what about the old man on the corner who sold fruits and veggies from his garage for years. He would even play his guitar for you if you asked. Now he's living in a retirement community. Did you know that he has a story to tell? He is a decorated WWII vet. Returning home, he toured with several country music groups. For most of us, he simply became "the tomato man on the corner." But, he has stories to tell, and his stories, and countless others like his, should be recorded and left for posterity.

One of our local retirement communities sponsors a summer history academy open to high school students. Student's families may attend which is how I became involved. The focus, however, is on the student and the resident as the resident tells his or her story. Often students meet with the residents more than once and hear their stories in detail. The students then write the history of that resident for books being compiled by the resident chaplin at the community. The books remain in the community's commons room.

We've heard from a lovely woman who was a young girl in London during the bombing of WWII.  We've heard from a State Supreme Court Justice involved in two of our state's largest stories in years. and from a couple who met during WWII in Japan and fell in love. It took an act, signed by President Truman, for them to marry.

One quiet lady shyly looked at the young high school girls sitting just across the table from her when she was describing her life in occupied Poland and said, "I don't know if I should describe what happened next to these lovely children." Our older population, wherever you live, whether they're family members or not, have stories to tell.

Now, about my friend...Terry has been in my life for for 40 years. We've worked together, played together and traveled together. For several years we left our husbands at home, and traveled somewhere for a "wild" girls' getaway week. Now she is unable to do this, so I go to her. She lives in a community without access to anyone to record her memories for her. There is no such program as described above and there are no family members to help. She is becoming less and less able to order her thoughts for periods of time. She is also losing her eyesight. She wanted her childhood memories recorded while she could recall some of them. So we got to work.

At first she could recall an event or a preson or two. Soon, each thing remembered brought up another memory. I was traveling from my home to hers, about 1000 miles each way, once or twice a year, and there were phone calls each day. She would call so excited for she had 'just' remembered something else. Memories were not in order and were often retold several times, sometimes with changes in the memory.

Still, through laughter and tears, we persevered, and now she has a product. The story of her life from birth until college. Because her father was career military, her memories come from places around the world. What looked like it would be just a few pages is now 161 pages, complete with photos from her childhood and photos I found online that augment her memories. It is large print, 24 pt text. That size fits under her table size magnifier and looks wonderful. And in a pinch, for just a moment, she can look at the book without help from others or her machine. She is proud of her accomplishment, and frankly, so am I.

You may think you know Grandma's story, or Dad's adventures, but you may be surprised at all the new stories he or she might have to offer you. You may think that old woman living alone down the street is nothing but trouble, but she may have an enchanting story to share with you. So, find an elderly person who would love for you to record their life story. You might just make a new friend who will enrich your life.



My entire family became involved in the writing of Terry's story. Each in their own way helping me and thus helping Terry. Even our youngest granddaughter. She saw the title and turned to me with a question. "But Mimi, I thought you said she is your friend. Why are you calling her a brat?" Time for the teacher in me to explain a new concept to a granddaughter and time for Terry to have a new memory, for after I told her this little story, she remembers it exactly and with a big smile on her face, repeats it to anyone who will listen.


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